She doubted herself. She wondered if she could be a "good" mom. She saw how postpartum changed her own mother and even though she was over the moon to meet her precious baby boy there was a voice on the inside that essentially... feared her light.
Being a Doula for 10 years, I know that most of the time, no news is good news. Yet I could feel the silence held a ripening, blossoming energy to it the way morning glory's bloom in the quiet hours of the dawn. So I gave my client a call and we chatted, joked, swooned and blessed each other up knowing our time to be together in the labyrinth of birth was on the horizon.
The next morning, my phone rang; contractions had begun. They were slow and steady, enjoyable even, so we stayed in touch by phone throughout the day. By mid afternoon things had picked up, so I made my way.
By the time I got to her things were progressing nicely. She trembled and shook. She was hot, then cold, up, then down. She felt pressure + all the signs were there. Things were going fast.
When we got to the hospital she was 10cm with a very low baby and was feeling the urge to push strongly. Then her water broke. After being rushed into a delivery room something interesting happened.... everything slowed way down. She started to struggle & fight herself. Her contractions really spaced out and time started to stretch.
After 2hrs and 20 minutes of pushing with no progress, I felt the baby reach out to me. He said he was ready to come but that this was an important time for deep healing and integration for his mother. He said she carried ancestral self hate, shame and doubt and it needed to be washed cleaned.
My hands went to work & the mothers body confirmed the baby's message. I could feel her pain; the deep conflict in her mind & heart. Then I placed the bottom of her right foot on my navel & sent heaven's healing energy into her body. I summoned the baby to come. I began to pour sweat and my hands vibrated, stimulating the karma so that it could be cleared...
I could feel the mother receiving this unconditional love. It streamed into her body and to everyone's astonishment on the next push 1/3rd of the baby's head emerged. Two pushes later the baby was born gracefully and without a single tear. Wow.
Our doubts & fears most often come with a message... with a purpose. When we enter the silence, when we listen for answers and choose to integrate, choose healing & choose harmony we move closer to the Truth.
The Truth Of Who We Really Are.
This mother chose Love In Full Bloom. She chose forgiveness. She chose her essence, her soul and her child. She let the struggle go and in that moment the healing went 7 generations forward, 7 generations back & her baby became the living proof that there is no "good" or "bad" mother. There is only NOW & in the now the possibilities are infinite. It's the now that offers us true freedom.
& Fortunately... NOW IS ETERNAL.
Just Like Us.